Saturday, June 14, 2008

The Cross, Dysfunctional Team Meeting

Friday some of the malcontents (as Freud would have labeled us) from the workplace gathered at our official meeting site for a celebration of sorts - for those not in the know, the official meeting site includes libations alcoholic in nature. Woo hoo! The celebration was to mark the promotion of someone completely undeserving (whom I shall name Dink) to a position high enough that he will eventually be able to enact all his fascist soon as Ilsa of the SS responds to his voice mail messages.

Heh, the poster warns that some members of the public may find certain scenes in the film offensive and shocking. Shall we bet that some members under Dink's command found him offensive and shocking? If not, we can at least safely assume they found him uninformed and arrogant. Now a new bunch of underpaid corporate drones will learn to appreciate these most excellent qualities of his leadership. Thinking on it, I feel guilty that we did not make a toast to his new group of henchmen, er, underlings, er, subordinates.

We did make toasts to those who were unable to attend the meeting - and we had garlic cheese bread, which I think qualifies as toast. It occurs to me that tossing pieces of toasted garlic bread with hot, melted cheese on it at people you don't like would be a different method of toasting - but I digress, and the toasted garlic bread was too tasty to waste on someone I don't much like.

There was some small good news at yesterday's summit - one of Dink's former chair moisteners has landed another position. This chair moistener (I shall call him Lucky) is the only repository for a huge body of knowledge about our workplace. He's one of those people to whom you can go to either get an answer or to find out where to get one. It remains to be seen how fortunate Lucky's new placement truly is, but a reprieve is a reprieve and I'm pleased that he got one. I did try to convince him to take my job if I got laid off, but he's not nearly foolish enough to do that. I should have sweetened the deal by throwing in that shrunken head in my office. C'est la vie.

Back to the meeting minutes - there were toasts to those absent, a hailing of Fuhrer Dink, drinking and eating of pub grub, discussions about how many and how soon de big layoffs will be, and the joyous discovery that someone I know actually has the Ism lp with their cover of "I Think I Love You". I took incriminating photos of summit participants but you won't be seeing them here. No, those are my backup plan for when my unemployment insurance runs out ;-)

I have no idea when the meeting finally adjourned - four folks were still there when I left. Here's to hoping they're were not hung over!

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Seeking solace in libation? The meaning of libation can include “the pouring out of a liquid, e.g. wine or oil, as a sacrifice to a god or in honor of a dead person.” Is the deceased a paternal Corporate structure?
Interesting article about Korea’s woes:
• issue of worker dismissals remains a controversial and contentious topic
• for much of its modern history workers benefited from implicit guarantees of lifetime employment
• galloping pace of industrialization and economic expansion for many years provided an ample cushion upon which businesses could absorb the costs of lifetime employment
• competitive shift in the international economic environment slowed the advance of the economy and eroded the capacity of its businesses to bear the burden of this social bargain
You could replace references to Korea with USA in this article.
There is no longer any opportunity to exist in the Corporate world for those that do not adhere to the Philosophy of Dink. A daring midnight escape is the extreme alternative.