It's Official! I've been laid off!

{I sent this email out to folks in my division - this was my cunning plan to avoid being rumor mill fodder, as well as to avoid answering the same basic questions 100 times.}

Yes, I've been given the gift of unemployment! My last day is Wednesday, July 16th. As always, people have questions in these situations, so I will try to answer them.

What will happen to all the junk in your cubicle?

Some of it will go home with me. Some lucky people will be getting gifts from me. You'll just have to wait and see how lucky you are….

What will do you now that you're unemployed?

Sleep.

No, seriously, what will you do?

Seriously? Sleep. After almost a decade of getting up at 5:30 AM I am perpetually sleep-deprived. I will spend some weeks/months catching up on sleep and exercise. I'll have plenty of time.

Okay, smart alec, what else are you going to do?

Catch up on my knitting, write a few novels, keep up my blogs, make jam and soap (in separate pots, of course), dye some wool, spin some yarn, clean out my mother's garage.

What will you do for money?

Well, I am currently accepting donations at my desk; at some point I will probably have to become employed again, but I'm going to wait until I'm well-rested.

Where will you look for work?

I'll start within walking distance of my home - the University of Washington. I don’t stand a chance there, so I expect I'll have a couple of months on unemployment at the very least.

What kind of novels are you writing?

One is about a scientist who decodes the dna of dinosaurs and decides to open up a giant dinosaur amusement park. One is about a young Italian-American man whose father is a big mafia boss but he doesn't want to follow in his father's footsteps - this one has a severed horse's head in it, a plus for any novel. Oh, and I'm writing one about a man who has this obsession with hunting down this huge whale - this one takes place in the 19th century.

Do you expect to increase your level of dumpster diving?

Not until the weather gets a lot cooler - dumpsters in my neighborhood stink to high heaven during the summer. I will, however, pick through leavings left outside the dumpster (for example, someone left a nifty office chair next to my dumpster, but I left it since I don't need a chair right now).